By Jacqui Byrne

My child has written more than one million words of fan fiction.

Not because of an assignment, or even a dream of becoming a writer—but because finding a sense of community and belonging unlocked something that school never could. What started as a small online fan group for Supernatural—a TV series about brothers who hunt ghosts and other mythical beings—became a creative home: a place where ideas flowed, friendships formed, and identity took shape.

That experience changed how I think about community—because for many twice-exceptional kids, connection doesn’t come easily. They can feel out of sync with their peers—too intense, too imaginative, too everything. Finding a true sense of belonging often takes time, and sometimes it shows up in places parents never expect.

When they find a space that welcomes their intensity and imagination, it can open doors we didn’t even know were closed. Connection and collaboration can do more than just soothe loneliness; they can ignite purpose, nurture creativity, and build empathy in powerful ways. 

While online connections can be real and valuable, as parents, we hope those aren’t only connections our kids have. But our job isn’t to steer them toward what we think belonging should look like—it’s to help them widen the circle, so that wherever they go next, they carry that sense of connection with them.

Here are three ways I’ve found to help 2e kids build connection that’s both rich and resilient:

1. Stay curious, not controlling.
Ask about what they’re creating or who they’re collaborating with, the same way you’d ask about a school project or a sports team. You don’t have to fully understand the fandom, or the video game they’re playing, or the code they’re writing; your curiosity shows respect for their world and keeps communication open.

2. Broaden the definition of belonging.
If your child feels most themselves in an online group, use that as a starting point, not an endpoint. Help them find local spaces—clubs, meetups, classes—where they can bring those same passions offline. The goal isn’t to replace one community with another, but to add layers of connection.

3. Talk about sustainability.
2e kids often pour their whole selves into the spaces where they finally feel seen. Gently help them think about balance—about making room for rest, for friendships that aren’t tied to a single shared interest, for the idea that belonging can take different forms over time.

Belonging isn’t a reward for progress; it’s the condition that allows progress to happen. When 2e kids know they’re already accepted, they stop expending energy just to prove they deserve a place—and start using it to grow.

For free tools and resources to improve your 2e child’s experience, visit 2e 101. 

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Jacqui Byrne, FlexSchool Founder

Jacqui Byrne is the visionary behind FlexSchool – a network of small schools specifically designed to engage and support the creative, quirky, asynchronous minds of gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) students. An acknowledged expert and sought-after speaker on education, Jacqui is a member of the Bridges Graduate School Advisory Council and holds a degree from Yale University. She is also the parent of twice-exceptional kids.