Parents of twice-exceptional (2e) kids often experience a disconnect when trying to communicate their child’s needs at school.
One reason for this is that many teachers — through no fault of their own — have never even heard of 2e, let alone received any formal training in how to support 2e kids. It's simply not taught in most traditional teacher training programs. So if your child doesn’t attend a 2e-informed program, you may be wondering how to even begin to bridge that gap.
I can relate; I am intimately familiar with how it feels to sit on both sides of that conference table. And from my experience, an important first step is to try to foster a team approach. Becoming partners with your child’s teachers takes time and effort, but it’s worth it; it can pave the way for more constructive conversations that will ultimately lead to better support for your child.
Not sure where to start? Here are some simple tips and tools that may help foster a more collaborative relationship with your child’s team at school.
1. Assume the best intentions.
The first thing I always like to assure parents is that the vast majority of educators feel deeply invested in helping every child become successful. When students struggle, their teachers take it to heart. This can be especially true if they’ve been on the receiving end of the student’s expressions of frustration, while lacking the context to fully understand what’s causing the issues. If you can frame the meeting as a conversation between allies working towards a shared goal, most teachers will be eager to listen and problem-solve with you.
2. Prepare in advance.
Conferences tend to be fairly short and structured, so these meetings are not always the best forum for explaining the complexities of 2e. To make the most of those minutes, it’s good to gather your thoughts in advance. What are the most important things for the teacher to know about your child? Can you shed light on any behaviors that might be misinterpreted at school? To help prepare, try our free
2e Student One-Pager, with spaces to share key info about your child on the front, and a simple explanation of 2e on the back.
3. Show them your child’s inner awesome.
I recently heard a piece of advice that I love from 2e expert Julie Skolnick, author of Gifted and Distractible: Understanding, Supporting, and Advocating for Your Twice-Exceptional Child. In a recent interview with
2e 101, Julie recommended showing the teacher a few photos of what your child looks like when happily absorbed in a favorite activity; for example, if your child loves building with Legos, don’t just share a photo of their latest brick masterpiece – capture them mid-build. This will help the teacher see the kind of deep engagement that’s possible for your child. (We loved this idea so much that we’ve added it to our
2e Student One-Pager; thanks, Julie!)
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