What Your Child's IEP or 504 May Get Wrong—And How to Fix It
Spring is here, and that means end-of-year IEP meetings. And if you have a twice-exceptional (2e) child, you may be facing a common question: “This accommodation looks right on paper—so why is my child still struggling?"
by Jacqui Byrne
As both an educator and parent of four kids, I've had to ask myself that question many times over the years—and the answer may surprise you.
Let's look at an example: preferential seating. There’s a reason this is one of the most common accommodations in IEPs and 504 plans: It's easy to implement, and it often helps. If a student appears easily distracted, moving them closer to the teacher and away from the noise and movement of other students seems to make perfect sense.
Except when it doesn't—and the student continues to struggle.
So what's really going on?
by Jacqui Byrne
As both an educator and parent of four kids, I've had to ask myself that question many times over the years—and the answer may surprise you.
Let's look at an example: preferential seating. There’s a reason this is one of the most common accommodations in IEPs and 504 plans: It's easy to implement, and it often helps. If a student appears easily distracted, moving them closer to the teacher and away from the noise and movement of other students seems to make perfect sense.
Except when it doesn't—and the student continues to struggle.
So what's really going on?
When we only look at the surface-level problem—this student isn’t finishing their work—it’s easy to assume they need more focus, more structure, more prompting.
But a closer look reveals the deeper problem: This accommodation is actually supporting the assignment—not the child.
A seat near the teacher might be appropriate for a child who gets distracted easily—but it can be terrible for a student with anxiety.
Because here’s what happens when an anxious kid is placed front and center: They feel exposed. The teacher’s right there, watching. The other kids are behind them, possibly noticing every movement, every mistake. The pressure mounts. What if they don’t know how to start? What if they get it wrong? What if everyone sees them struggling?
So they do nothing. They stall, they freeze, they shut down. And from the outside, it looks like avoidance. But on the inside, they’re overwhelmed, paralyzed by the fear of failing in plain sight.
If we really want to support these students, we have to stop treating the symptom and start addressing the cause. And that starts with one simple but powerful question: What does success actually look like for this child?
For an anxious student, success doesn’t look like sitting perfectly still in the front row. It looks like staying in the classroom. It looks like being regulated enough to engage, to make an attempt, to ask for help when they need it. Success means feeling safe enough to try.
Think about the difference between an anxious student and a supported one:
- The anxious student is tense, shoulders drawn up, eyes darting toward the door. They’re hunched over their paper, willing themselves to disappear. They’d rather do nothing than risk getting it wrong.
- The supported student sits more comfortably. They pick up their pencil and start, even if they’re unsure. They glance toward the teacher, maybe ask a quiet question. They might still feel nervous, but they’re willing to try. They know they won’t be shamed for making a mistake.
For this child, success isn’t about compliance—it’s about courage. It’s about shifting from “I can’t” to “Maybe I can.”
And if that’s what success looks like, then the accommodation needs to help get them there. Preferential seating shouldn’t automatically mean “front and center.” It should mean a place where this child feels safe enough to learn. Maybe that’s near the back, where they can observe without feeling exposed. Maybe it’s near a wall or in a corner, where they don’t have to worry about people behind them. Maybe it’s simply the option to choose where they sit each day, giving them control over their own comfort.
Accommodations really can make a big difference—we just need to look beyond the surface and start asking the right questions.
If you'd like to learn how to do that, I invite you to join me for a virtual workshop: Accommodation Makeovers: Small Changes for Big Results.
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Jacqui Byrne, FlexSchool FounderJacqui Byrne is the visionary behind FlexSchool – a network of small schools specifically designed to engage and support the creative, quirky, asynchronous minds of gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) students. An award-winning educational leader and sought-after speaker on education, Jacqui serves on the Advisory Board of the Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity in Education and holds a degree from Yale University. She is also the parent of twice-exceptional kids.
